November 05, 2006

Saddam's Execution: Another link in the hate chain

Anyone notice the way hate wars work? You know, like ethnic cleansing in Bosnia or Hindu-Muslim hatred in India or even relatively smallscale stuff like family vendettas. I was just looking at this link here. Saddam Hussein sentenced to death, apparently. It just seems obvious to me that this is probably the dumbest thing to do to a former leader of an entire country. I'm going to make a little logical deduction here:
I am making the (not terribly tenuous) assumption that the entire court process can be manipulated by the American Government, going out on a limb and deducing that George Bush is insane.

He may be insane-smart or insane-stupid but that doesn't detract from the fact that he's probably sentenced the world to another century or so of violence and bloodshed. Either that or wipe out the entire middle east.

Why?

Look, Saddam is obviously a violent dictator. There seems no doubt about that. He may caused much pain and suffering and is probably respnsible for the deaths of many thousands of people. That does not detract from the fact that he's a charismatic leader and that right now, he is a symbol for the politicomilitariculturosexual oppression of the Middle Eastern Islamic cultures by the West. If the manipulative bastards in Washington have decided to execute him, all they've done is sentence him to immortality as a martyr. And there's nothing manipulative bastards like more than a martyr. Just give it a year and the manipulative bastards in the Middle East will be crawling all over him like flies looking for a place to lay their eggs. A decade from now we're probably going to have militant Saddamists who'll blow themselves and a roomful of little schoolchildren into tiny bits, screaming "for the memory of the prophet Saddam!!!".
And then they'll carpet bomb the Seychelles.
Idiots.

At any rate, this got me thinking and I decided to try and illustrate the natural pattern of hate violence in the form of this fun to fill hate-war simulator.

Here's a little fill-in-the-blank illustration of the chain of hatred:


1. ___(X)__ (insert stereotypical name of choice. e.g: Mohammed, Dhansingh, Syrnizxyk), who happens to be an __(A)____ (insert nationality, religion, gender, football club preference, anything a sufficiently manipulative bastard can con people into believing is a difference between them and other people, thereby making said other people "evil sadistic bastards") ___(F)___ (insert negative karma inducing action here e.g: stabs, rapes, stones) __(Y)____ (insert any other name here, it doesn't necessarily matter) who happens to be a ___(B)___(again insert fit material for manipulative bastards, doesn't have to be a counterpoint to the earliermentioned difference) or __(Y)__'s __(Z)__ ( insert property or person close to Y, may in some cultures be no difference between the two e.g. goat, wife, daughter, football).

Note: Actual reasons for aformentioned action are irrelevant.

2. __(Y)__ or (if Y is dead or otherwise disabled) Y's __(W)__ (insert name of person or group of people who were affected deeply by Y's death e.g. son, family, creditor, Rotary Club, fellow goatherds) grows to nurture an all-consuming hatred of (X) and decides to take revenge by (F)ing (X)
or (X)'s Z.

3. __(MB1)__ (a manipulative bastard or a group of manipulative bastards) of the (B)s sees an opportunity here to get __M__ (anything manipulative bastards usually like e.g. power, money, more goats, women) and convinces a group of (B)s that all the violence and negative karma happening here was because (X) was an (A) and that the only way to bring positive karma back to the land in general is to (F) all the "F"ing (A)s and their goats too. Soon all the (A)s above a certain age are F'd (most probably something to do with death and/or sexual/economic depravity) and their Rotary Club memberships are confiscated.

Note: The (A)s, (B)s, (X)s and (Y)s can all be interchanged here. But the (MB1) remains a constant.

4. All the little children of the (A)s grow up hungry and poor and unable to get a decent education and the only thing that they have left to hold on to is the memory of how all the (B)s (F)ed their daddies, mommies, brothers, sisters and their goats too.

5. __(MB2)__ (another manipulative bastard or group of manipulative bastards) manages to convince the little (A)s that the only way to put their ___(D)'s__ (daddy's/mommy's/brother's/sister's/goat's) tormented soul to rest is to (F) all the "F"ing (B)s and their rotary club memberships too. Soon all the (B)s above a certain age are F'd (most probably
something to do with death and/or sexual/economic depravity
) and their goats are... whatever.

Notes: See how X and Y have conveniently left the picture. If they do remain, they will probably be nothing more than adrenaline boosters used by either of the MBs (Remember the (X)!!!! This is for (Y) and his goat you heathen (A or B)!!!!)

6. Repeat steps 4 and 5, escalating the level of (F)ing with every turn (start small, with smallscale murder and rape, move on to executions, mass burials and suicide bombings and move up to biological warfare and carpet bombing).

7. Meanwhile, the MBs have all the M they could ever ever want and live happily ever after.

8. Permutations and combinations and the occassional additions of other groups is permitted, provided that they all follow the abovementioned rules and involve a manipulative bastards.

Note: Since, for all concerned except the MBs this is a loop of (F)ing and counter(F)ing there is no point saying

"The End"


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8 comments:

Nikhil said...

a LEEETLE bit pessimistic, don't u think??

tangled said...

:D
But so funny! (Incidentally, I think it should be ___(F) s___ (insert negative karma inducing action here e.g: stabs, rapes, stones), no?)

The Unadulterated Cat said...

You're alive!!!!

sending you email.

Viralfish said...

Tangled: You're right. Should have focussed on the syntax as well as the logic... Will correct that now. By the way, I cant find my way to your blogs anymore.

Tangled and nikhil: (Assuming you both read it). Thank you for actually reading through it. Was beginning to wonder if anyone was going to decipher this.

Catgirl: Mail me.

The Unadulterated Cat said...

Is this blog dead?

I emailed u. Where is reply I say?

Hope you are writing and not simply faffing about like me :-)

Anonymous said...

The brother bear had garlic pickle for breakfast - please to excuse ..

Anonymous said...

i think you'd make an amazing MB.
damn funny. i hope this blog doesnt die.

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