December 13, 2011

A love letter to all my Chinese fans

So it appears that over the course of many years, through dint of diligent blogging and rigorous application of the rules of humour, I have acquired a small legion of fans. This is, of course, natural, for such a dedicated and humorous blogger as me, though the small matter of the demographic from which these fans arise did attract my attention. It appears that most of the people who comment on my blog are Chinese. At first, this was not immediately apparent to me, mainly due to the fact that, in the absence of a Chinese language pack on my browser, their names and comments appear as so many wingdings. Nevertheless, one intensely packed workday, I was curious enough to run the comments to one of my most popular posts (and doubtless, one of my finest pieces of poo) through the Google Translate. Mine eyes are now open. The entire comments thread (comprising 23 comments) is in Han Chinese. Wonderful. It occurred to me to ponder what it was that attracted my Chinese compatriots to this particular post. It must be their inordinate fondness for Avatar, or probably their insane attraction for any word with +500,000 hits on a google search (also called SEO whoredom). Nevertheless, I felt honour-bound to call out my Chinese Friends by name and to respond to their kind comments on this public post.

For ease of reference, I have categorised my biggest fans and their comments by nature of comment. There are three basic categories: Words of encouragement, wise advice I should follow and thought-provoking advice to visit the red-light district of the internet. Lets start at the top, shall we?

My first round of thanks go out to all those simple and touching notes of appreciation, which, though uninspired, were nevertheless encouraging and information-rich (at least as far as hyperlinks go. I did not know that Chinese people did those things with aardvarks. And no lubricant even!). Accordingly, a big shout-out to

'Happy yo', for saying that my post was 'wonderful',

MathewP_Thu22269 who said 'Nice post ~ 3Q' (which, I am given to understand, is some sort of Chinese 5-star rating system),

Yi Ying Yi Ying for having a name that sounds like a martial-arts chihuahua and for saying 'Hello ~ nice article' and

batesda, for saying that my post about how Avatar is really not so bad was 'Really touching article ~ ~'. I like to try.

Special Award to :

Zi Yi Zeng g Zhi Ke Yingke dgdd for having a name which caused my tongue to go numb for a few minutes and for saying: 'I am so grateful to the dynamic of the blog!'. This is truly a touching and insightful statement, which speaks to the heart of what I am trying to do with this blog.I have often searched for the dynamic of this blog,fiddling with templates late into the night, mixing secret potions and chanting invocations to the Elder Gods to grant me a great dynamic. It is gratifying to know that you are grateful for its dynamic, as you should be, as the dynamic of this blog comes to you from none other than Shoggoth himself! Weep Tears of Gratitude, Mortal and Cower before the DYNAMIC OF THIS BLOG.


Hui Ping Pei G who said 'Hello ~ welcome My world ~ '. Ever since I read that, I am not sure if I am any longer in the real world. I may have finally found my way back to the Matrix, all thanks to HPPG. Or maybe HPPG was empathising with my point of view. Either ways, HPPG, we're both in this together, alone against the universe, and alone we shall stand. To the death!!

Round 2 of thanks goes out to all those people who have provided me with sound words of advice for a smooth journey over those potholes that are the MCD renovated road of life 

Wang Jungui said ... Choose the least of two evils - I'm just going to leave that there because it says everything by itself. Confucious couldn't have put it better.

Johnath Meng Xuan said ... Li Heng Chi gentleman, villain constant determined, which may sound like babble to you, but is actually Johnath's way of updating me on his ongoing quest for deriving the equation that governs evil in the universe.

And Avril Lavigne's good sister, 'Good child ChristiLavigne11' said 'Cast not the first Stone' which is probably advice she has to follow on a daily basis with a sister like Avril Lavigne.

 And finally, the 'amazing subversion of a common proverb' trope award goes to the simply, yet intriguingly named Lulu, who said 'You can control the weather, but you can change the mood'. Full points for ignoring conventionally accepted uses of the conjunction 'but' and for blowing the minds of people who expected a 'can't' in the latter half of that sentence.

Last but not least are those who wouldst tempt me to walk the wild side of the internetz, with such alluring invitations as Hao Shan's where (s)he said ...

"Nude photobeautiful nude pictureporn messageyellow pictureself-timer naked picturesexnaked picturesof 18 restricted85cc a pieceof Taiwan porn sitesfree porn plana night of passion chaterotic chat roomratedburst milk Actressfor loveBig Collegesex eroticlabiaone-night standlower bodylove chat netsaltyself-timer sexadult galleryadult Studiossexvideo loversex video watchnudepornographic U.S. adult forumav PortraitSelf-Timer Nude mappingav mapmap sex eroticadult VCDsexybabes video chatsex videowhoreerotic Taiwan ForumG-string mappingfree of charge a piece videoslewd womanlive showsex between men and womenhot younger sisterpassionate love chat networkbeautiful women nudefree porn sites".