Whe I was very young, I used to have these strange fantasies.
I used to wish that one day, all the dirt, the grime, the sludge, all the muck in the world would suddenly levitate, fly up into the air, hover over the atmosphere and then disappear, and everything would be spotless, clean and... nice.
When I grew older I saw this article in the paper. It was an interview with this Serbian (or was it Bosnian?, or Slovak? I dont remember). He was talking about how he used to kill mothers and children in a small mountain town thereabouts. At long range.
First, he would get them in their sights.
The mother would probably be running, with her child held protectively in front of her.
Then, he would take careful aim.
Shoot
And get the child in the stomach. So he wouldnt die instantly.
Then, he would watch the mother in agony while she screamed and her child's lifeblood drained away in jerks and shivers.
Then he would shoot her in the head.
I think it was that night when I went to bed and dreamed that somehow, all the bad men, the evil men, they were suddenly levitated, lifted high into the sky, and then, somehow, in the midst of all the screaming and the moaning and the wailing, they were ripped, spliced, shredded into particulate matter, and a fine rain of blood, and a fine snow of bones would fall over the earth.
And everything would be perfect. No bad men left in the world. No more evil. Nice.
Why did I share this with you? I dont know. I just had that same dream again recently, and all the "bad people" had faces I could recognise. They weren't necessarily people I knew, but I knew their faces. They were faceless when I was younger. Why can I recognise them now?
December 18, 2003
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